KARMA

  I found myself on Google. I typed: “How to kill myself and make it look like an accident”. Google pulled up a large number of results, and quickly. On the first page I read – “Making suicide look like an accident”; “what’s the best way to kill yourself but make it look like an accident”; “making a suicide like some random accident”; “top 20 suicide methods: fastest and painless suicide methods…” “For me, it’s less about death and more about ceasing the pain. It’s difficult to explain how death would make you feel more alive than ever. I wasn’t running from my problems. I was desperately searching for a way to conquer them.” “It wasn’t really about dying. It was about escaping unbearable pain when I couldn’t see any other option. And I was convinced everyone would be happier if I was gone, that I was doing them a favor by unburdening them. This is why guilt trips like ‘think of what you’re doing to your loved ones’ don’t work for me… I’m so grateful to still be alive tod...